After The Fire
by J.A. Carlton
Summary: A fathers' first concern is his children and a month after Mary's brutal murder Dean is suffering terribly and John is at a loss to help him, but not to love him. WeeChesters.


Okay so y'all were right sorta - Disclaimer still stands, Love stands the test of time. Opinions appreciated as always.

After The Fire

an SN fic-let

by J.A. Carlton

aka sifichick.

John's eyes popped open and his body was in motion before sleep had finished retreating. One scream usually begat another so he sped to the room and swept his boy into his arms and held him close.

"Easy tiger... I gotcha, it's okay... it's gonna be okay..." he hated the feeling of impotence he suffered lately, especially when he felt his boy trembling so violently against him, locked inside his own head, alone, in the dark and re-living God only knew what, but he could guess.

He sat stroking his little boy's hair and back rocking him gently, "It's okay Dean... I gotcha I gotcha," he soothed and for the first time in the month since Mary's incomprehensible murder, and he knew she'd been murdered... Dean's night terror cries took form as time worked its spell on the boy.

John felt his little body grow hot in his arms as he looked across at his now 7 month old, motherless infant who lay there playing with his toes and gurgling contentedly.

"Mommy! Mommy Please! Come back! No! No! NOOOOO!" he cried against John's chest just before his body jerked and his eyes snapped open taking in his surroundings, his face masked in confusion.

"Hey Dean... you okay now tiger?" John asked softly, his guts squeezing in response to the anguish he saw on the boys face, anguish he quickly tried to hide.

_I gotta do something... my little guy's gonna go through this forever if I don't find a way to help him_ John thought.

He felt Dean nod and wipe his tears on the shoulders of his quilted flannel but his little arms stayed firmly latched around his neck, "I'm okay daddy... just a bad dream,"

John choked on a chuckle and ruffled the boys' silken hair while demanding his eyes hold back their tears as he pressed his lips to Dean's temple then looked into his curious face, "That's my little man," he smiled hauntingly as Deans hand came to his cheek and brushed away a disobedient tear.

"It's okay daddy... don't cry..."

Across the room Sammy squealed and stuck his foot into his mouth and whined around it.

John sniffed and gave his first son a squeeze then set him on his feet, "Why don't you get Sammy and I'll heat up a bottle 'kay?"

"Okay daddy."

He watched out of the corner of his eye as his eldest boy carefully cradled his baby brother to his chest and sat with him in the big chair in front of the TV.

"Daddy's making you a bottle Sammy... you don't have to eat your feet..."

John chuckled and wondered what he could do to help Dean, if he couldn't help himself and he'd failed his beloved Mary so thoroughly, he was determined not to fail his sons.

After The Fire 2nd installment – disclaimer- check – Love – Check… All systems are go, I repeat all systems are go…roger that sifi… you are cleared for launch.

"Hey John wake up!" Keith, the new mechanic barked and dodged to the lift switch that would stop the car from coming down on his head.

"Huh?" John shook his head snapping out of his reverie at the sound of his name.

"Man you almost had a Monte instead of a head! What's wrong with you?" he asked sharply then remembered, "Your kid still having those nightmares?"

"Yeah," he nodded adding to himself _Only now it's not just screaming and moaning, it's so much worse… I'd take him to a shrink but those bastards would only twist it to make it sound like it's MY fault somehow, they don't believe what's out there…sheesh, take a four year old to a shrink…if only he would tell me what he saw. HE had to have seen something, he wouldn't be having nightmares like this… would he? Please God let my sons be alright, help them get through this… help us all get through this,' _and he felt a dark sliver wedge its way out of the depths of his brain, it squirmed and yawed its way forward, _…and help me find and kill whatever that thing is that took my Mary from her boys and me.. whatever it is cause I KNOW what I saw… give me the strength to find and kill it… for Mary, for my boys and yeah… even for me._

He pulled his faithful Impala over to the side of the street and put her in park. There was a car he didn't recognize in Missouri's driveway so he knew she was with a client. He was also well aware that she sometimes got distracted by the intensity of his circumstances so he stayed in the car leafing through the ancient palm sized book he was bringing back to her. Its genuine parchment pages were bound in an oxblood colored leather that had never seen either leafing or a heat stamp. Only human hands and time itself had touched the small but informative tome.

He shook his head barely daring to believe that actual humans had ever experienced such happenings but he was starting to believe. Missouri had helped open his mind to a world blatantly disregarded in this day and age, he likened it to getting his 'game eyes'. It was a phenomenon experienced when city dwellers went on a canned safari, it usually took a couple days in the wild before they could find the animals themselves without the aid of the guide to point them out.

"Hello John," she smiled gently into the window as her last clients' car pulled away.

"Hi," he breathed startled by her sudden appearance.

"How're the boys?" she asked, "Dean's nightmares are getting worse huh?"

"Yeah," he was used to her insights but it still 'freaked him out' as the kids were saying these days.

"Well I found something I think might help a bit with that," she nodded placing something weighty in his hand as he handed the ancient little book back to her.

"Thanks for the book. What's this?" he asked looking at the odd blob of metal, it had four truncated limbs and looked Eastern somehow, the first thing he thought of was _Egyptian? Scarab_? But he realized that an Egyptian scarab would have much more detail, this looked… older somehow and less well defined, _Tibetan? Balinese? What is it?_ he wondered, confounded by the thing.

"It's for Dean… you tell him it's kind of a lucky charm."

"What is it really?" he asked.

"A talisman, it'll help him cope with his fears."

"And?" he prodded, sometimes getting information from this woman was like pulling healthy teeth.

"And what? He's a four year old child John, you tell him it'll stop the nightmares and it'll stop the nightmares you understand?" she asked waving at another client who'd just pulled into her driveway.

John nodded, "But between you and me…"

Missouri sighed, "It has meaning, and that meaning has power," she admitted carefully and rose up straight while sliding the book into her jacket pocket, "See you later John."

An ex-marine, he knew he'd been dismissed as she crossed the yard and moved on to her next client. Clutching the pendant I his hand he smiled. _She's right_ he realized.

-----

Dean's eyes fluttered open and his tiny body broke into a cold sweat as soft footsteps landed at the threshold of the motel bedroom. He hadn't heard the main door open, a sound he seemed to register even asleep knowing that once he heard it he could sleep as deeply as his heart desired. That sound meant dad was home and dad home meant, safe. In the shadows of the dimly lit room the hulking shape that sidled along the foot of the bed to the crib-on-loan that Sammy was sleeping in, bore a familiar resemblance to the image that haunted his dreams. A dark shadow swirling like smoke, and a sinister voice that echoed in his head saying mean, dark things that made his heart ache and made him want to cry, and now it was a shape that looked like daddy from behind. It had even fooled Mommy for a little bit, till she saw Daddy still downstairs sleeping in his favorite chair… that night.

That bad thing was standing over Sammy now! Dean held his breath, screwed up his courage and in a flash charged from the bed screaming and flailing his little fists trying to hit in all the vulnerable places Daddy had taught him.

"You get away from him! Don't you touch my brother! My Daddy'll kill you!" he screamed punching and kicking with all his might as the dark shadow turned and grasped at him. He decided the time was right to use one of Daddy's best mean words and shouted, "Leave him alone you son of a bitch!" he felt his fist connect solidly as the shadow stooped and scooped him up holding him tightly and suddenly laughing with Daddy's voice and smiling Daddy's smile.

"Wow! What a little fighter you are…" John chuckled bouncing his son in his arms and nearly bursting with pride.

"Daddy!" Dean squealed gleefully and threw his arms around his neck.

"You make me proud Dean you know that? You're the best big brother in the whole world…" he grinned sitting on the bed with his smiling son in his lap. He realized at that moment that it had been far too long since his big boy had seemed to smile so openly. He also knew that all three of them had a long hard road ahead of them if they were going to learn what they'd need to know to be safe in this strange new world they'd been thrust into. And he knew that in order for his boys to grow up healthy and strong, they needed sound sleep, thankfully Sammy didn't have a problem in that area.

"Hey tiger… I got you a present," he smiled pulling this silver amulet out of his pocket and holding it up for curious and happy inspection by his son.

"For me?"

"Uh huh."

"What is it?" Dean asked.

"Well it's kind of a good luck charm… you know what that is?" he asked tying the leather cord securely around Dean's small neck.

"Like a rabbits foot?" Dean asked. John nodded as his boy looked him seriously in the eye, "That's not so lucky for the rabbit is it?"

"No kiddo, it sure isn't… but yes, it's kinda like that only this one is more special… as long as you wear it, it takes away the really bad dreams…"

"Really?" Dean asked in wide eyed amazement as he looked more closely at the pendant.

"Really."

"Never?"

"Well I won't say never, but I will say that the really bad ones, the ones that you wake up to sometimes…"

"Uh huh," Dean nodded somberly. He didn't want to admit jut how terrified he was of the things he saw in his head, a good soldier wasn't terrified of just stupid things in his own head…

"They won't come anymore," John nodded and smiled assurance.

"Wow!" Dean breathed in awe and turned throwing his arms around his dad's neck, planting a big grateful kiss on his bristly cheek and squeezing him tight.

"Thanks Daddy! You're the best!"

"Nah tiger… you're the best… look how well you looked after Sammy."

Leaning back in the safe circle of John's arms Dean picked the amulet from his chest, "Daddy? Can this mean I'm a good guard too?"

John chuckled and nodded, tapping his son first on the right shoulder, then the left and back to the right once more, with his index finger, "My son Dean, The Protector. Guardian of the Winchester family…" he dubbed him playfully. Neither of them noticed the faint glow or subtle shift that surged through the amulet before it once more lay quiet against Dean's small steady chest.

Please R&R it keeps me motivated!


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